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Cape Town lifestyle blogger, everyday mom life, expat life South Africa, expat living Cape Town, expat mom, expat mom blog, lifestyle blog Cape Town, marriage and parenthood, motherhood blog South Africa, raising a family abroad

20 Questions with Carlie Stanley – An Expat Mom in Cape Town

Behind the motherhood tips and Cape Town favorites, there’s the everyday Carlie. In this 20-question Q&A, I open up about childhood memories, expat life in South Africa, motherhood challenges, marriage lessons, and dreams for the future. It’s a candid glimpse into the woman behind The MODE—equal parts raw, polished, and real.
  • Carlie
  • September 26, 2025
pretty woman mom expat living in cape town carlie stanley the mode

Sometimes I feel like my readers know the curated version of me—the motherhood tips, the Cape Town favorites, the style edits. But behind it all, there’s the everyday Carlie. So today, I’m answering 20 personal questions—some lighthearted, some a little deeper—about who I am in this season of life.

Childhood & Roots

1. What’s a childhood memory that shaped who you are today?
When I was young, my parents volunteered at a local foster care facility. Every Christmas, I’d get to look over the kids’ wish lists before we went shopping for them. I’ll never forget reading one child’s list—it only said “a pillow.” At the same age, my list was filled with toys and the usual childhood wants, while theirs reflected basic needs. It humbled me deeply. Today, it still drives my perspective: gratitude first, and a desire to raise my daughter with a heart for giving.

2. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
My best friend once shared something her parents told her: There are three times in life you never judge anyone—the day they get married, the day they have a baby, and the day they get divorced. It’s stayed with me because it’s such a reminder of grace. We’re all human, and those three days hold more vulnerability and complexity than most people will ever realize.

3. Did you always picture yourself living abroad, or was it unexpected?
Looking back, I think I manifested it. When I was a teenager, my parents gave me a bucket list book for Christmas. At the very top of the list, I wrote: “Live in South Africa.” I didn’t even realize the weight of it at the time, but here I am, raising my family in Cape Town.

For more on my expat life, you can read What It’s Really Like Living Abroad: My Move from the U.S. to Cape Town.

4. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A veterinarian—because I absolutely love animals. But between my lack of math skills and a short-lived high school job at a vet’s office, I quickly realized it wasn’t my calling. Still, my home is filled with animals, and I love them just as much.

Love & Relationships

finding the one the mode carlie stanley wife and husband
finding the one the mode carlie stanley wife and husband
finding the one the mode carlie stanley wife and husband motherhood expat family living abroad cape town

5. How did you know your husband was “the one”?
It wasn’t one dramatic moment—it was a series of small ones. The way he respected me, supported me, and made me laugh so easily. There’s a grounded safety in being with someone who sees you exactly as you are and loves you more for it.

6. What’s the best date you two have ever been on?
One of my favorites wasn’t even a real date. We had a 9-hour layover in London on our way from Cape Town to Italy, and instead of waiting at the airport, we dropped our bags at the front desk, grabbed a taxi, and wandered around Westminster at sunrise. No crowds, no agenda, just the two of us exploring with messy hair and jet lag. It was pure spontaneity, and I’ll never forget it.

7. What’s something you’ve learned about marriage since becoming parents?
To apologize quickly and move forward with grace. Becoming parents magnifies the small stuff, and it’s easy to let exhaustion turn molehills into mountains. We’ve learned to check in with each other daily—whether it’s asking “What do you need from me today?” or simply lightening the other’s load without being asked. Marriage in parenthood is teamwork, plain and simple.

8. How do you balance being a wife and being a mom?
By remembering that our marriage comes first. Of course, our daughter’s needs are essential—but I want her to grow up seeing a healthy, loving partnership. That means weekly date nights, family days together, and intentional time with just us. At the end of the day, we only get 18 years with her at home before it’s back to the two of us. Keeping our marriage strong isn’t just for us—it’s setting the example for her future.

Motherhood & Identity

mom and daughter motherhood expat mom
mom and daughter motherhood expat mom
mom and daughter motherhood expat mom family living abroad

9. What’s been your hardest moment as a mom so far?
The newborn stage. Those first six weeks felt like nothing but short naps strung together, and I was in survival mode. Luckily, my daughter has been an easy baby overall, but those early nights stretched me in ways I’ll never forget. If you’re in that stage, I shared more in our sleep training story.

10. What’s been your most joyful moment as a mom?
When she began giving affection back. That first hug or kiss when I asked for it—it’s a love that fills every corner of you. For the first year, motherhood can feel like pouring endlessly into a little being who can’t give much in return. That first “thank you” in the form of a hug? It’s everything.

11. How has motherhood changed the way you see your own mom?
It’s shown me what I want to do differently. Without going into detail, motherhood clarified the kind of mom I want to be and the environment I want to create. It’s given me determination to break cycles, build trust, and lead with love.

12. If your daughter could take away one lesson from you, what would it be?
Be kind, always. Never judge others, and love yourself exactly as you are. If she grows up anchored in kindness and self-acceptance, I’ll have done my job.

Personal Growth & Dreams

expat life italy travel lifestyle
expat life cape town travel lifestyle living abroad taking pets overseas moving dogs to cape town south africa lions head
living abroad and moving to a new country cape town south africa lions head expat life

13. What’s a risk you’ve taken that paid off?
Moving to South Africa. Leaving everything familiar behind was terrifying, but it gave me the life I have now—a husband, a daughter, and a home that feels like paradise.

I share more about the journey in Moving to Cape Town: Why I Left Texas.

14. What do you still struggle with the most in yourself?
Vulnerability. For most of my life, I’ve kept my private world very protected. Putting myself out there doesn’t come naturally to me. Even writing this blog and stepping into the public light as an “influencer” is part of how I’m trying to push past that fear. Every post is a little act of courage—sharing my opinions, my home, my motherhood journey—knowing that not everyone will agree or understand. But I’ve realized vulnerability is the bridge to connection, and that’s worth the risk.

15. What’s one dream you haven’t chased yet, but hope to?
Opening a store here in Africa filled with all of my favorite things—candles, home décor, gifts, and those special pieces that make a house feel like a home. I imagine it as a space that blends timeless design with a touch of Cape Town charm, a destination where people could come for inspiration and leave with something beautiful to carry into their own lives. It feels like the natural extension of what I’ve been building online, but in a tangible, touch-and-feel way.

16. What scares you most about the future?
Honestly? The world my daughter will inherit. The cost of living is rising faster than salaries, and I worry about her ability to thrive financially while also pursuing work she loves. My husband and I are doing everything we can now to provide her security in the future, so she can build a life out of passion—not fear.

Everyday Carlie

17. What’s your guilty pleasure TV show or podcast?
The Candace Owens podcast—I never miss an episode.

18. What’s a flaw of yours?
When I feel attacked, my words can cut like knives. It’s a defense mechanism that surprises even me sometimes. Over the years, I’ve gotten better at letting things go, but the lion in me still roars when cornered.

19. What does a perfect Saturday look like for you?
Brunch with my family, followed by a day at the beach or a wine farm. Cape Town makes it so easy to live beautifully without trying.

Some of my favorite weekends are spent at vineyards in Cape Town like Constantia Glen or enjoying sushi in Camps Bay.

20. When do you feel most like yourself?
When I’m out in nature. Whether it’s hiking the mountains, walking along the beach, or just breathing in fresh air under open skies, that’s when I feel the most grounded and in tune with myself.

Bonus Questions

21. What’s your morning routine like?
Our mornings are a little chaotic, but they’re anchored by the sweetest rituals. First, the dogs go out and get fed. Then I get my daughter up, and her favorite job is helping me drop the ice cubes into my latte—she takes it very seriously. We’ll usually watch an episode of Bluey while she has her milk, then she helps scramble her own eggs for breakfast (she insists on stirring!). After that, I do a quick skincare routine while she brushes her teeth right next to me. It’s nothing glamorous, but those small shared moments give our mornings a rhythm that feels intentional and grounding.

For more of my skincare staples, check out Tallow and Honey Balm: My Newest Skincare Obsession.

22. What’s a small luxury you indulge in?
Fresh flowers. There’s something about a vase of blooms on the counter that instantly makes a space feel elegant. It’s a small ritual of beauty that elevates the everyday.

My other indulgences usually come from beauty finds, like the best lash growth serum I swear by or my go-to makeup tutorial for beginners.

23. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Pizza—without a doubt. I have Italian blood in my veins, and a perfect slice will always be my comfort meal.

24. What song is playing on repeat on your playlist right now?
“Through the Wire” by Kanye West. It’s old-school, nostalgic, and somehow always energizing.

25. What’s something most people don’t know about you?
I play guitar. Music has always been a quiet passion of mine—it’s not something I share online, but at home it’s one of my favorite ways to unwind.

✨ That’s me—raw, polished, and somewhere in between. I hope this gives you a glimpse beyond the curated feeds and into the everyday person I really am.

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About Me

Hi, I’m Carlie — a Texas girl turned Cape Town local, navigating the beautiful chaos of motherhood, creativity, and life abroad. Learn More

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The MODE is a lifestyle blog by Carlie, celebrating all things Motherhood, Originality, Décor, and Expat life. From baby essentials and everyday fashion to bold home styling and life in Cape Town — it’s a curated space for women creating a life they love, wherever they are in the world.

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